Motherhood Lessons: Learning To Go Slow

ON REFLECTING

My oldest just turned six, so naturally I’ve been reflecting and reminiscing on the last six years of motherhood. Lessons I’ve learned, mistakes I’ve made, things I’ve done really right and also things I’ve done pretty wrong. Such is life, right? Learning, growing, making mistakes, getting some things right, learning again, growing still. I tell you what, nothing has stretched me and refined me quite like motherhood. It’s the most sanctifying thing I’ve ever done, and I’m only six years in!

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn over the last six years of motherhood, especially in these little years of raising babies into toddlers into young children, is how to go slow. Slow is the pace of those little minds at work running around your feet each day, and as such, slow is the pace of a peaceful home in these little years. I’m not even a very fast paced, hustle and bustle personality by nature, but it’s still been an adjustment to learn how to go at the pace my children need me to go. Chores take longer and their “help” isn’t actually that helpful, but in order to teach them to be functioning humans in society, I quickly realized that slow is sort of the only option I have.

We’re not rushing

It’s not to say you can’t make plans, have full days and lives, extra curricular activities, and somewhat of a social life. Sure, you absolutely can. But you’re still gonna have to go slow. Ask any seasoned mom and she’ll tell you, you’ve got to make space for them to learn and nurture their independence - which means going slow. It means not rushing out the door frazzled, disheveled, yelling at everyone to please hurry up because we’re 10 minutes late for play group. I mean, I’ll be the first to tell you we’re late almost everywhere we go, but we still go slow. Yeah I’m late, but I’m not rushed. It’s the trade off I’ve made peace with for allowing my children an unhurried childhood. If we’re late, that’s my fault, I’m not putting that weight on them. So I allow them the time they need to mosey out to the car, open the door themselves, carry their own things if they ask to, buckle themselves the way they love to do.  I’m not rushing us. We’re going slow.

Going slow means saying yes more. Yes, you can help me rinse the dishes. Sure, I’d love your help making dinner. Yes, you can crack the eggs. Yes, please help me fold the laundry. News flash, friend: these tiny little hands aren’t that helpful right now, it’s true. If they were hired hands they’d be prompt fired from their duties. And yeah, eggshells in your scrambled eggs, dishes that need to be recleaned, and shirts that need to be refolded can be a tinge annoying, but remember - we’re going slow. We’re not in a hurry. We’re not rushing. We’re going at their pace. We’ve resolved in our minds that nothing can rush us. We’ve pre decided to let them slow us down, because we know that when they say “Can I help?’ what they really mean is, “Can I spend time with you?”.

slow is the pace

You know what else I’ve learned in my six years of motherhood? Which, by the way, I know is hardly any time at all. I keep laughing and saying I can’t believe it’s already been six years and I can’t believe it’s only been six years. In some ways it feels as though motherhood is all I’ve ever known, but I digress. I’ve learned that slow is the pace of the kingdom of God. Slow is the pace Christ calls us to walk with Him. Slow is where we learn His rhythms, His free and light way of living. I’ve learned to thank God for the way my children slow me down and force me to pause, because it’s there in the pause that I’m reminded of the pace of my Father; slow, unhurried. I’ve learned that slow isn’t our human nature. We want it done, right now, as fast as possible. We want to solve the problem and move on. Check the task off the list and move on down the line. But slowly, quietly, the Spirit beckons us to walk in step with Him, at his pace… unhurried.

So instead of fighting against the pace of our children, or trying to force them to go at a pace that’s unnatural for them, let’s learn from them. Let’s go slow alongside them, allowing them space to pause, to breathe, to learn, to grow. We’re not in a hurry. We’re not rushing their childhood, because it’s our motherhood too.

We’re going slow.